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Making the Most of Your Small Groups

By Lindsey | May 25, 2012 | Small Groups, The Gathering | 1 Comment

Making the most of of your small group time

Just realized this didn’t get posted! Sorry for the lateness!

For my second breakout at The Gathering, I attended the Small Group session with Matt Barnes, Angelina Pavone and Stacy Igarashi. They all work at Rock Harbor, and it was great to hear how they run things week in and week out. Here are some notes from the session:

Elements of the Tru Curriculum

Anticipate (early activity to set the stage for the lesson to come)
Large Group Lesson
Response (check Tommy Larson’s post for more details)
Small Group (discussion questions)
Create/Engage (craft, activity, game)
Blessing (and dismissal)

Getting Volunteers On Board

Small group is when volunteers spend a good chunk of time with the kids, leading discussion questions and helping them find personal application from the lesson. You want your volunteers to have the same vision as you in order to make this time effective. In addition, small group leaders help set the tone for your program in general. If your leaders are 100% on board with the vision, you will have an alive, vibrant experience. On the other hand if you’ve got people who feel obligated or are just trying to escape “big church”, you’re in for some trouble.

Stacy recommended having a sit down meeting with all the potential volunteers before they ever step foot inside a classroom. She shares the philosophy and elements of Tru, explaining how parents are the primary leaders and it is the church’s job to create an environment where the kids can experience God. She wants them to know that small group time is not about RE-teaching the lesson. It’s about building relationships.

Flickr by Robert Scoble

Inspire, Equip, Support

One feature of Tru is the Inspire, Equip, Support section of each week’s lesson. The leaders at ROCKHARBOR realized that many of their leaders were skipping over this section. They started saying to the small group leaders, “If you can’t read anything else, make sure you get this section in.” Matt explained, ”We want them to lead from the overflow of their own heart. If they spend time with God, thinking about the lesson, often the lesson transforms the heart of the small group leader. This makes a much more powerful experience for everyone.”

No Playground For Us

Stacy was spending some time with one of the small groups one week when a newer girl asked a question. ”This is a pretty big church, right?” The girl asked. Stacy agreed that it was and then tried to redirect the girl back to the lesson. Not to be deterred, the young girl continued, “Yeah, I used to go to another big church. They had a big playground out back. You guys don’t have a playground, do you?” Stacy conceded, that no, they did not have a big playground, or any playground for that matter. What the girl said next was compelling. ”I’m glad,” she explained, “that playground was so distracting to me. I knew that at the end of the lesson that we could all go outside and play, and I honestly could not concentrate on what the teacher was saying. I just kept thinking about that playground. What I was going to do when I got out there and who was going to get the swing next to me. Here, I don’t have to think about that playground and I can listen to God.”

Should we pass on the playground?

When I heard that story, I have to admit, I was a bit convicted. I often suffer from church-envy, especially when I visit those mega-churches with the MURALS. I have a serious case of mural envy. However, I’m beginning to wonder if we should focus so much on “fun” in Children’s Ministry. Kids naturally have fun. Put two kids in a room and they will find some fun. Maybe we should stop trying to be Disney World or McDonald’s and be the church. When people come to church, aren’t they looking for something MORE? If they only wanted fun, they would head to the zoo or the beach. By stepping inside the doors of the church, they are acknowledging they are looking for something deeper and maybe we completely thwart that desire by providing too much distraction.

What Do You Think?

Should we focus on fun in Kidmin or just “let it happen”? Are playgrounds and murals too much of a distraction or a helpful tool? What has been your experience? How do we find the balance?

What about your Small Group time? How do you make it the best it can be?

All that Glitters Book Review

By Lindsey | October 16, 2010 | Preteens, Reviews, Small Groups | No comments

The second book in Nicole O’ Dell’s Scenarios series, All That Glitters, holds just as much promise as her first book, Truth or Dare. Using a slightly modified “choose your own adventure” format, readers are able to truly engage in the story and feel the consequences of the choices they make.

In All that Glitters, twin sisters Dani and Drew are entering the ninth grade, with Drew determined to change her little girl image and break free from the “twin status” and be seen as an individual. Along the way, she begins to stretch the rules about clothing, make-up, and her choice in friends. As a result, Dani, who is trying to stay true to her faith and the rules of her parents, is left in the proverbial dust.

Then, Drew catches the eye of a dreamy football player and things get even more complicated. Does Drew risk losing her relationship to do the right thing? Or does she risk her morals and the respect of her parents in order to impress the new crowd she’s hanging with? You, as the reader, decide.

Intending to use this book in our Faithgirls program (preteen mentoring program), I was initially skeptical that it was a little “too old” for the girls I’m working with (ages 10-12). After all, they weren’t even thinking about dating, let alone kissing or sneaking around behind their parents backs. Or so I thought…

After browsing through their facebook pages a bit, I discovered they were much more interested in dating and kissing than I thought. Ugh. In light of this discovery, I think All that Glitters will be an excellent resource for our group. I’m looking forward to seeing what Nicole O’Dell has in store for Scenarios part 3 and 4!

Check out Nicole O’Dell’s latest podcast about her books or visit her website.

What’s been your favorite preteen resource?

Other Book Reviews:

Truth or Dare (Scenarios #1)

Same Kind of Different As Me

Our Home is Like a Little Church

Truth or Dare (Scenarios #1): Book Review

By Lindsey | July 28, 2010 | Preteens, Reviews, Small Groups | 1 Comment

Great Resource for Preteen Girls

Looking for something to use with your preteen girls group? Nicole O’Dell’s Interactive Fiction for Girls may be a great option. This Spring, we ran an Appleseeds program (we recently changed the name to Faithgirls) for our preteen girls. While the content in the Appleseeds book was solid, it wasn’t always the most engaging material for the girls. I was looking for something new when I stumbled upon this series published by Barbour Publishing. The company was kind enough to send me all four books in the series, the first of which I gobbled up in about a day and a half.

What’s the Book All About?

I thought Truth or Dare, the first in the Scenarios series, might be like the Choose Your Own Adventure books I used to read as a kid, but the format is a bit different. The first half the book shares the story of four best friends who are entering the eighth grade. They are both nervous and excited, and sure that they will be able to face whatever comes their way as long as they stick together. However, problems begin to arise when the group starts to play “Truth or Dare” at their weekly Friday night sleep-overs. Lindsay, the only Christian in the group, is faced with a critical choice when she is pressured into choosing a Dare. Does she choose her morals and risk ridicule from her friends? Or is she strong enough to stand alone?

A Choice To Make…

This is where you, as a reader, make a choice. Do you choose the Dare or say no to your friends? Depending on the choice, you turn to a certain page and finish the story. Both endings are thought-provoking, realistic, and compelling.

What’s Great About this Book

The believability of the characters and scenarios. I can see preteen girls getting hooked on this series right away. The four friends are each unique, like-able, and realistic. They all have strengths and weaknesses which young readers could readily relate to.
The beautiful way O’Dell integrates Lindsay’s faith into everyday living. This is something preteens struggle with. Where does my faith fit into my decision making? In the beginning of the book, Lindsay attends church with her family. Readers get to read the sermon and then Lindsay’s thoughts as she wrestles with how to really apply it to her life. Again and again, the points in this sermon pop up throughout the book as Lindsay is faced with different choices.
The honesty about the trials of Christianity. Lindsay struggles with being the only Christian in her group of friends. She sometimes feels left out because she has stricter rules or different morals to guide her life. She also struggles with being like Christ. She shares at a youth group campfire about how it’s easier to focus on herself than to really try to be like Christ. I think this chapter will be a great discussion starter among the girls. Very real life.
The realistic choices the girls have to face. Throughout Truth or Dare, the girls learn the importance of respecting other people’s things, how easily feelings can be hurt, and the dangers of alcohol (and smoking). Avoiding the appearance of evil is a big theme in this book, and it’s interwoven throughout the story-line wonderfully.
The transparency of the characters. Even though Lindsay is the main character in this book, the reader is exposed to many of the thoughts and inner feelings of the other girls as well. O’Dell does a great job of balancing the strong friendship of the girls without making it seem too Utopian.
The great relationship between kids and their parents, especially Lindsay. Lindsay respected what her parents had to say and truly considered their wisdom when she was in a tricky situation. I’m glad to see parents were presented in such a positive light in this book.
The power of forgiveness. Forgiveness was freely given among this book, based on Christ’s forgiveness of us. It was great to see people willing to forgive instead of holding grudges, another common struggle among preteen girls.

What’s Not so Great

I would have loved to see some discussion questions at the end of each chapter (or in the back of the book). Since we’ll be using this series for our preteen girls small group, that would have saved me some work! However, the book is so well written, it will be easy to pick up on themes and draft up my own (maybe I’ll post them when I’m done — check back this October!)
I liked the first scenario (where Lindsay said no to the dare) better. I’m not sure if it’s because I didn’t have anything to compare it to (so it had an unfair advantage) or if it seemed more realistic than that second scenario. I can’t see a preteen going to talk to the Pastor and all her friends’ moms on her own volition, although it is something admirable to have the girls aspire to. Certainly, it made for a beautiful ending to a bad choice. Even though Lindsay’s actions seem like a bit of a stretch, I wouldn’t have wanted her to do anything else. She did the right thing by making amends, realistic or not. Perhaps it’s time we stopped focusing on “realistic” and starting focusing on “right”. Lindsay is a great model for young girls.

Conclusion

Wow. I am completely impressed. If the other three books are as good as this first book, I won’t be looking for new small group material for awhile. Great job!

More Books by Nicole O’Dell:

All That Glitters

Making Waves

Magna

Other Book Reviews

Raising a Modern Day Joseph

Instant Games for Children’s Ministry

The Hole in our Gospel

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It’s in the Bag!

By Lindsey | July 14, 2010 | Small Groups | No comments

Saw this great idea on the KidMin Blog. Check it out:

Tomorrow my son will be the Teacher’s Assistant in his first grade class room. As part of his special day, Liam needs to decorate and fill a lunch bag with five things that define who he is. Now, granted, Mr. Bedi didn’t use the word “define” but rather “that tell the class about you.”

This is a show and tell of sorts. Once Liam has finished his presentation, Mr. Bedi will chose five kids to ask Liam questions about the items.

For example Liam chose:

Legos: He’s obsessed with them right now.
Money: He is big into saving money to buy large things (Read large Lego sets)
Book: He LOVES reading.
Pencil: He loves to draw
Ball: He has fun throwing/kicking/shooting balls around the yard

This is a great idea not only for a school class room, but also a small group in children’s ministry.

If you’re a small group leader, introduce yourself with your top five. Kids LOVE knowing about more about you. Having tangible items that they can hold or touch will make who you are more memorable to them.

Have your kids share about themselves. This is a great way for your kids to know more about each other and become more comfortable sharing what’s going on in their lives. For the first few weeks of the year, have one child bring in this Top 5. Have the other kids in the group ask questions.

The more we know about each other, the more likely that we’ll form a tight-knit community of faith. Something that even kids need!

Posted on 10/06/2009 by Dan Scott

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Appleseeds Program: A Review

By Lindsey | May 26, 2010 | Reviews, Small Groups | 6 Comments

We’ve been doing the Appleseed program for about 8 weeks now, and I am really pleased with the results. I’ve gotten a chance to connect with a small group of girls on a really meaningful level and we’ve had a lot of fun in the process! I thought I’d share some do’s and don’t's of the program in case you were considering it for your own church.

DO THESE THINGS:

Have the program! It is a great way for the girls to get to know other ladies in the congregation and for some adults to connect with the kids program in a way they might not have otherwise.
Read through the book before launching the program. I found that some of the chapters/crafts were a little over the girls head or just plain not applicable. I love the concept of exploring what we’re looking at, listening to, talking about (all chapter themes), but it might be worth taking the best of the book and adding your own stuff to it. Email me for more details on what I thought was the best of the book.
Have snacks! The first week the girls were really shy about eating. However, by the end of the night, they had cleaned up an entire pan of brownies (and there were only four girls!). I found having some snacks on hand really helped to loosen the girls up a bit.
Be aware of cliques. We had a few girls drop out because they weren’t super good friends with some of other girls, so be prepared for that. There was no bullying or teasing, but I guess they just felt uncomfortable. If I run the program again, I might spend the first week or two doing some “community building” activities in order to solidify the group and keep girls (hopefully) from dropping out.
Have mentors. Whether you use the Appleseed curriculum or not, be sure to include other ladies in your congregation. It is very rewarding for everyone involved.
Consider having the mentors come two weeks in a row. One of the ladies shared with me that it was tough getting into the groove of things because she had no background experience. It would have been nice, she explained to come one week to observe and other week to teach/share.

DON’T DO THESE THINGS:

Run the program for 10 weeks. We’re on week 8 and attendance is starting to fizzle out. Do an 8 week program or even a 6 week program. Better to keep them wanting more than to get tired of it.
Necessarily buy books for all the girls. Only one of our girls really did the Bible study part at home, and it might just be an added frustration and cost you don’t need. The girls can complete the Bible study all together each week and still get lots of application.
Be surprised if the girls head off on all kinds of rabbit-trails. The girls we had were FULL of questions, and I was happy to take detours and answer them. I think that’s what small groups are all about. Talking about things that matter to the participants personally. We’ve had chats on spiritual warfare, girl troubles, family situations, and more. The weeks I really enjoyed were the weeks that the girls got “down and dirty” with their questions. I felt like we were really connecting faith to life in those moments.

You’ve Earned It!

By Lindsey | May 7, 2010 | Elementary Age, Small Groups | 4 Comments

Well, our first small group has earned their prize on our newly developed reward system. Kids earn point for attendance, brin

ging Bibles, bringing friends, and saying their memory verse each week. We used to have a “Sticker Store” at the end of the month where they trade in their points/stickers for prizes. Of course, that lost its luster after about a year (more to me than the kids I think — it was quite a hassle finding inexpensive toys that didn’t fall apart before they got to the car). So, we’ve recently devised an experience reward system. Kids earn experiences such as pizza party, bowling, trip to the zoo, pajama party, etc. They all pool their points as a team/small group and then all get to enjoy the experience together. Last night, the yellow group earned their pizza and movie party. Way to go!

We started outside with our pizza picnic which went well enough, but the kids were so excited about running around and climbing trees, they didn’t hardly eat. Then we headed downstairs (it was at my home) to watch the movie and all of a sudden, everyone was hungry! So we made popcorn. Then they were thirsty. So brought down another round of plastic cups (because of course, no one kept theirs from earlier ). Then everyone needed to go to the bathroom. One at a time. Did I mention there were thirteen kids? Then, everyone needed to figure out who’s cup was who’s (where did I leave that Sharpie?). Okay… back to the movie, right? No, someone needed floss. Then they all needed floss. And who am I to hinder good dental hygiene? Flossers all around!

Okay, now the movie. Wait, no… we need blankets to really enjoy this movie time. Now, it is 75 degrees outside, but blankets it is. “Share, kids. You don’t need a queen size comforter all to yourself.” Now, where were we? Oh yes, the little cooking rat on the television screen. Wait, no. Someone is bored of the movie. Already. We’ve only been watching 13 minutes. “Play a game in your head”, I said. Not a good enough solution apparently.

Okay, I’ll talk loudly about the events happening in the movie and act really excited about the little hairy chef — maybe that will draw them back in. Their response? “Where are your cats?” “Can we play X-box?” “Can I hold the baby?” On second though, maybe not. I pull out my final card, the Ace in the hole, or something like that. My last resort.

“Who wants a brownie?” Thirteen hands shoot up and thirteen bodies jump up and down. Thirteen mouths yell “Me! Me! Me! Me!”. Okay, watch the movie. I’ll be right back. And I was, brownies in hand. They ate and were satisfied. For about 3 minutes. Then, like the Israelites, the grumbling resumed. However, it was in tiny cute voices and it didn’t sound like grumbling… more like brainstorming. “Can we go back outside?” “Can we watch a different movie” “Can we explore your house?”. Back outside it was. There, running around and laughter abounded until their parents came to pick them up twenty minutes later.

Great kids. Great party. I’d do it again tonight. Because, maybe, just maybe, I’m crazy. Or maybe because I love these kids and being a part of their lives. I love watching friendships form. I love watching them help each other out. And I love the new faces that pop up because of events like this. And I suppose that’s why I’m in Children’s Ministry.

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