The Gathering: With, not For: Moving Past the Need to be People-Pleasing, Fix-It, Know It Alls |Megan Fate Marshman

The Gathering: With, not For: Moving Past the Need to be People-Pleasing, Fix-It, Know It Alls |Megan Fate Marshman

Wow. I think that’s the longest title I’ve ever used.   I’ve been hanging out at The Gathering for the last few days in Costa Mesa and having an amazing time.   When you’re writing up your budget for next year, I seriously encourage you to add this event to the list. It’s the best.  Really.  It is.

Yesterday, I got the opportunity to attend Megan’s breakout session entitled “With, not For: Moving Past the Need to be People-Pleasing, Fix-It, Know It Alls”.

We began by taking a look at the very beginning.

Genesis.  In the Beginning.

Flickr by insignificant_toady

In Genesis, we start with God.  Because God is the main character.  He was present in the darkness (which is comforting) and He spoke light into the darkness.  When God created humanity, he created them to enjoy community and He said that all He made was very good (1:31).  Everything.

Including you.

Too often, we compare ourselves to others when in reality, God made each person good.  And something is missing, it is because that emptiness is meant to be filled with God.

In  the garden, there was God and people  It’s that was true heaven on earth… being with God and with people… being present matters.

Listening is a gift.

After the introduction, Megan made us do a bunch of weird handshakes and than pair off.  Person A was to share the story of their life for 2 minutes while person B listened.  Then, Person B had 2 minutes to tell the story back to Person A.

Megan asked Person A — how did you feel?

The most common theme was honor.  People felt so honored to be truly listened to.

Listening in a Gift

Flickr: Listen by Steven Shorrock

Listening is a gift.

Moving on to Exodus, we see a lot of details when it comes to the Israelites building the tabernacle.  There are a lot of details because God is holy and requires a very specific set-up to be amongst his people, but the point is: God wants to be with His people.

In the Old Testament, there was the tabernacle and the temple.  In the New Testament, Jesus came.

God wants to be with His people.

Even though God wants to be with us, we don’t always want to be with God.  Instead, we find different ways to relate to God.  In his book, With: Reimagining the Way You Relate to God,  Skye Jethani writes about four ways people relate to God.  They are:

  1. Life Under God (aka Entitlement): People in this arena say, “If I do this, God you should…”
  2. Life Over God (aka Self-Centered): People here say, “I’ll do exactly what I want…”
  3. Life From God (aka Goal-Centered): People here use God as a means to an end.  “Can you give this to me, God?”
  4. Life For God (aka Mission-Centered): People here become consumed with the by-product of Christianity, not God himself

We can also use these methods to relate to others

  1. Life Under Others: People Pleaser (trying to gain worth from the admiration of others)
  2. Life Over Others: Comparison
  3. Life From Others: People-User (only valuing people as they are useful to me)
  4. Life for Others: People-Fixer (people become a project)

We don’t have to relate to people this way.  We don’t have to relate to God in these ways.

God wants to be with you.

Because you are already fully loved by God, you can pour into others in a genuine way.

Spend time with God.  Be with God.

Know that you are fully loved.   And you will be filled with love for others.

Check Out More!

Director of Development and Production for David C Cook’s Tru Philosophy, MEGAN FATE MARSHMAN delights in sharing the gospel and empowering others to do the same. With a knack for weaving extraordinary adventure into everyday story lines, Megan speaks nationally at churches, conferences, and university chapels. Additionally, she serves as Director of Women’s Ministries at Hume Lake Christian Camps, where she rediscovered her childhood love for telling stories—specifically sharing the best story of all: the gospel.     WWW.MEGANFATE.COM  | @MEGANFATE


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